It is the 19th of February 2017

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US To Sanction Venezuelan VP For Being "Drug Kingpin" As Socialist Utopia Resorts To Eating Flamingoes

After years of investigations over alleged drug-trafficking and money-laundering, Venezuela's vice-president Tareck El Aissami faces sanctions by US authorities as a "specially designated national." El Aissami would be the highest-ranking Venezuelan official hit by U.S. sanctions, and we are sure will warrant a furious response from President Maduro who has already accused US of 'economic war' numerous times... and being responsible for forcing his people to resort to eating flamingoes now.

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Apple's Tim Cook Urges "Massive" Government Crackdown On 'Fake News': "It's Killing People's Minds"

Just days after Trump-immigration-order-blocking Judge Robart was exposed for his 'fake facts' about terrorist convictions, Apple CEO Tim Cook has dragged up another narrative calling for a "massive campaign" against fake online news stories. "It's killing people's minds," exclaims Cook who calls for governments to fund a Ministry of Truth-sounding "modern version of a public service announcement" in order to fight the epidemic (and education campaigns in schools).

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Three Things Are About To Derail Trump's Fiscal Plan, Goldman Warns

For some still unknown reason, Goldman Sachs, the bank that single-handedly accounts for the bulk of Trump's closest economic and financial advisors, and whose former COO has been reportedly tasked with hatching Trump's "phenomenal" tax plan, has been on a tear in the past month to discredit his proposed political agenda. Just last week Goldman slammed Trump's proposed economic plan, warning that unlike its earlier optimism, "one month into the year, the balance of risks is somewhat less positive in our view."  Goldman's Jan Hatzius then gave three reasons why his outlook had soured substantially in just a few months:

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